Monsters on the Tube

Although my previous efforts in documenting the London Underground in Film & TV have concentrated mainly on those two mediums, there are a number of video games that feature the network in one form or another. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider III has the busty heroine battling giant rats in the disused Aldwych station, while The Getaway's stunningly accurate rendering of the streets of central London includes authentic versions of almost all of the stations within the playing area - including the surviving fragment of the disused City Road station - as well as similar structures like the Kingsway Tram Subway.

Now being in possession of a PS3, I recently acquired a copy of Resistance: Fall of Man, which is set in 1951 in an alternative universe in which Europe is being over-run by the Chimera - alien-produced mutations of human corpses - and is notorious for provoking the ire of the authorities at Manchester Catherdral for having part of one level set within the historic building. Of course, you might think that if the planet was actually being over-run by hellish and demonic human-eating monsters, even the Church of England might bring itself to agree that killing them anywhere would probably be a good idea, but there you go....

Later, the game's narrative moves to London, starting inside Covent Garden Market itself, where posters promoting the "Electric Railway" and featuring a stylised variation on the London Underground logo can be seen. Once outside, however, the environment is rendered in such a way that the route to where the Piccadilly line station should be is blocked by "new" buildings. Subsequent action shows that the developers have been very "flexible" with the city's geography, with Holborn Viaduct almost adjacent to Trafalgar Square!

It is only when the player reaches the south side of Tower Bridge that the promise of the "Electric Railway" posters pays off, with a hoard of Chimera streaming out of a subway entrance, which then turns out to be the route to the next level. Inside the ticket hall various nasties are encountered, with more to be found on the platforms and in the two running tunnels, both of which are partially blocked by wrecked trains.

The architecture is a curious mix of sub-surface and deep-level tube-type stations, with two separate large and open bay terminating platforms, but small and narrow running tunnels, and ones lined with bricks at that. Most remarkable, though, are the wrecked trains: remarkably accurate renditions of the experimental streamlined 1935 Stock. In the real world only three of these prototypes were ever built, but obviously in this alternative universe they were more successful. Another commendable touch is that inside the ticket hall, diagrams in the style of Harry Beck show the layout of the network.

Insecurity devices

Of course, we all deplore shoplifters, but a couple of times lately I've fallen foul of some of the measures intended to confound them, rather than legitimate consumers.

A couple of months back, I found that an unwatched DVD I'd bought a few weeks beforehand still had the security device in place. This is the thing that slots into the side of a standard Amaray case, locking it closed, usually with a security tag inside. Feeling I couldn't be arsed hunting out the receipt and taking it back, I thought to see if I could get the thing out, first with a pair of long-nosed pliers, in the unsuccessful course of which I inflicted a huge blood-blister on my right forefinger.

By then more than a little annoyed, and because I had a supply of spare Amaray cases "in stock," I destroyed the offending case in order to extract the disc. It was only then (D'oh!) – upon finally extracting the device – that I worked out how it worked, and in retrospect determined how it could be taken out with a couple of strong magnets, no pliers, and definitely no blood-blisters. The latter actually got so bad that I had to lance it before we went out clubbing the following evening; after dancing all night in a hot and sweaty club, it's a wonder I didn't get blood poisoning....

Fast forward to last week, when a late birthday present from a friend was the Blu-Ray disc of Aliens Versus Predator, which I was dismayed to see also had what seemed to be the same sort of security device still in place. This one, however, proved imperious to the magnets that had worked on the first one, and Claire was adamant about not letting me injure myself again. When she took the disc back to the shop, however, the staff - even up to the level of the duty manager - refused to remove the device because, it being a present, she didn't have the receipt! When she got home, I had another crack at it with even stronger magnets than I'd used before, and luckily this time it worked. Obviously the manufacturers had beefed up the mechanism, no doubt because it probably didn't take the real shoplifters long to work out how to get round them.

Of course, all this is really a bit academic as regards the Blu-Ray disc, since at the moment we don't actually have anything to play it on. Our half-joke of putting a Sony PS3 on our wedding list did actually pay off (thanks Dad, Louise, Sara, Barny & Hannah!), but it and all the rest of the gifts were only delivered last week, and then only to Claire's parents' place in Tunbridge Wells, as most of it is going into storage, pending up moving somewhere bigger. We're going over there the day before we depart for our belated honeymoon in Malta, and will be retrieving the PS3 then, but I doubt we'll get much use out of it before we leave the country. Bah!